I'm pregnant?!?

It's a rainy afternoon and despite the absence of my nausea (yippee!) I find my mind wandering and unable to focus on the task at hand. So the million dollar question today is: how do women go nine months and not realize they are pregnant!?! You know what I'm talking about, you've seen it in the headlines and they always have these crazy women on jerry Springer or Rikki lake. "I never knew I was pregnant", "Woman gives birth to son, didn't know she was pregnant", "Woman had head buried in the sand for nine months". Give me a break ladies. Your trying to tell me you didn't notice the absence of your aunt flow? You didn't know that your perfectly flat stomach now as a little unexplained pooch? You didn't experience even one ounce of morning sickness (and if you say yes, may god strike you down as a liar)? I find it completely hard to believe that within nine months, which by the way is now more like ten months when you actually take a look at a calendar and count 40 weeks, but I digress, there was an utter lack of an sign what so ever that you were pregnant. Is this even medically possible? The pregnancy bible lists at least a hundred perfectly common symptoms that will happen throughout the course of pregnancy:

Morning sickness (spawn of Satan)
Weepiness (husband thinks your possessed)
Increase appetite & Food aversions (these will happen simultaneously)
Increase sense of smell (I can smell pizza anywhere in a four block radius)
weight gain (no kidding)
swelling of extremities (say adios to shoes)
hemorrhoids (my fav!)
leaking (mutiple places)
Inability to walk past a child under the age of 5 and not start crying with joy

How do these seemingly normal woman not notice anything wrong with them. In my daydreamy state I've discovered the answer. These woman are all under age and couldn't find a good way in nine months to tell her parents that she is pregnant by her jobless boyfriend who has now run off on her with Bobbie sue. So instead of facing the music like an adult these "girls" take the easy road, and as gullible parents, as I'm sure I'll be one day, we believe them! They are miracles of modern medicine and they should be treated as one. Ack! It's brilliant, why didn't I think of that. Probably because I'm too concerned with trying to decide which color of blue paint goes best with the crib bedding I've picked out. Women! pfft....