Here's your sign...

The husband and I had to attend a wedding over the weekend. My stepsister's big day had finally arrived. Naturally, I tried to look impeccably put together, but as usual I failed miserably. I had chosen not to purchase a special dress for the occasion, instead I wore a dress that I adored but only had worn one other time. Unfortunately, to my own dismay, one half hour before we were scheduled to arrive, I put my dress on only to find that I looked WAY more pregnant in this get-up than I should. I was just 2 weeks shy of beginning my 4th month, however it looked like I had stuffed a half deflated beach ball down my dress. Now what! However with no other alternatives I grabbed my pashmina, sucked up my pride and my stomach and headed out the door. The husband tried to reassure me I looked wonderful, but I think he could sense my hostility and was just trying to avoid world war 5. While at the wedding I felt comfortable in the safety of my church pew that no one could judge me. However at the reception was a completely different story. I felt like everyone was staring at me, in awe of how large I was. And sadly most of these people probably just figured I was just really FAT! Which just made the situation even worse. I decided I needed a sign for all the onlookers that read:

"No, I'm not this fat, I'm pregnant, thanks"

After two pieces of cake, which I thought would make me feel better, I told the husband I wanted to go home a wallow in my own misery.

Sunday, feeling just as fat and looking considerably more pregnant than yesterday, if that was even possible, I decided to test my theory. I donned a shirt that a friend had given to me several weeks ago that read "I heart baby" right across my belly. Genius! Now there shall be no confusion as to why my belly had the circumference of a yoga ball. However, this plan back-fired, people continued starting, most with blank looks on their faces of complete confusion as to what my shirt actually said. That's just great, people, maybe next time I'll try a cardboard sign. Or maybe I'm just cranky today.