God has a sick sense of humor

Ask any pregnant woman and she'll tell you that when you are pregnant you are gassy. I'm not talking you just ate Taco Bell gassy, I'm talking you just ate an entire plate of beans and onions smothered in chili gassy. It's horrible. Unfortunate as it may be, it's something that as the pregnancy continues, you learn to deal with. You find creative ways to cover the smell and the sound so that people within your fog range won't know it's you. I've also found that I've developed an excellent poker face. Ninety percent of the time the husband can't figure out if it was me, the dog or another random noise.

However, recently the husband has launched a "lifestyle change" initiative that has him quitting smoking and eating healthier. Normally this would be wonderful, except we have learned that when you mix the husband with green leafy vegetables the bi-product is the most foul, gag yourself gas I've ever smelled. It's worse than my pregnancy gas. I literally need a gas mask just to sleep next to him at night. Apparently the husband not only is gaining sympathy weight, he's also getting sympathy gas. God help our pets.